Saturday, April 17, 2010

Why Did The Pilot Cross the Road?


Because she was in the crosswalk, duh.

It’s a good thing I stopped before stepping into the crosswalk at 5:30 am this morning.  If I had stepped out in front of the sign that said, “State law, yield to peds in crosswalk”, I would have been splatted by a car.  Maybe the driver didn’t know what a ped was?  Maybe she was illiterate?  Maybe if the picture showed a car hitting a person, drivers would actually slow down and pay attention.  Nah, we’re all in too big a hurry.  What we really need are crossbars similar to the ones at railroad crossings.  When a pedestrian wants to step into the crosswalk, they push a button and the bars go down.  Take that impatient drivers.

I’ve learned my lesson with crosswalks.  I actually walked into one a few months ago, because I knew I would beat the oncoming car and assumed they would stop.  Very gutsy move on my part, I know.  The woman in the car actually had the audacity to start flipping me signs and was irate that I had crossed in front of her.  The “new me” is trying  to maintain a peaceful attitude about things, but this woman really pissed me off. 

Another thing that really pisses me off is when people speed through my neighborhood.  When we bought our house five years ago, we didn’t realize that at 5pm our street turns into a dragstrip.  People use it to cut thru to another neighborhood.  Although the speed limit is 25, and there are at least 10 young kids that live in the 4 houses around me, drivers take no notice.  My son can be standing 2 feet from the road with his bike, and the cars still accelerate as fast as they can from one stop sign to another.

My husband has reached the age, God love him, where he has taken it upon himself to start yelling at people as they speed down the street.  I am terrified this practice is going to end in tears, either for him or our house.  He is either going to have someone get out of the car and beat him up, or they will come back in the middle of the night and egg our house.  I try to remind him that when he was a teenager he just laughed at old men (sorry honey, older men), that stood in the yard and yelled at people to slow down.

 My dad actually kept a baseball bat in the coat closet that he would get out when he was trying to protect the neighborhood.  I guess he figured if the person speeding saw the baseball bat he would think twice about picking a fight.  I don’t think my dad needed the bat though.  The fact that he was 6’3” and weighed 300+ lbs was probably enough to keep people in their cars.  They probably drove even faster once they saw him coming with a bat.

Where has our civility gone?  Is it so difficult to be kind to each other?  Why can't we all play nicely together?  Is it so difficult to wait 30 seconds while someone crosses the street?  Or to take 5 seconds and slow down so you don't run over a child?  I wish I knew the answer to these questions.  Until I figure them out, I guess I will be more cautious in crosswalks. Or start carrying a Louisville Slugger.

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