Passion

I have a deck of angel cards that I look at before I go to bed at night.  Each card has a different angel on it, and each angel is associated with a particular message.  I shuffle the deck until one falls out, and then I read it.  I use the message to inspire, comfort, or guide me for the next day.  The angel card I pulled last night was pretty amazing, considering  what I've been going through this week and what I blogged about yesterday.

PASSION - associated with Archangel Haniel - "Trust and follow your renewed passion in your love life and career."

Additional message:  "Playing it safe can lead to staleness and depression.  You've asked for more happiness and definite DIRECTION.  I've LIT THE FLAME of passion in your heart to lead and guide you.  It is SAFE for you to take risks and follow your hearts desire.  Ask me to be your partner along your path of passion, to guide and nurture you.  When you feel a STRONG KNOWINGNESS, alongside a burning passion, pay attention, as this is my way of giving you information about your next step."
by Doreen Virtue, PHD

I've capitalized some of the things that have directly applied to me this week.  I have been asking for direction.  My former fears and inability to feel safe have held me back from many things in this life.  After class, I felt a knowingness and inner glow that I can't even put into words.  It surprised and delighted me.  Never in my life have I been so sure something is going to go as I've planned.

My previous thought process had been to always prepare for the worst.  That way I'd never be disappointed, and in the unlikely event things went well, I might be pleasantly surprised.  Because of that thinking, I was drawing the very things to me that I was trying to avoid.  Now I look at some of the goals I've set for myself and I know I will achieve them.  I don't wonder IF I will achieve them, only when.

For example, a one year goal for me had been to dance at the Rhythm Renewal next year, which is where I was this week.  I love to dance, I just try to avoid doing it in public.  Thanks to some amazing encouragement from two wonderful new friends (thank you S and B), and a son that danced his pants off, I was out of my seat and dancing last night.  My one year goal has been accomplished in less than one week!  For a former glass half empty kind of gal, this is a minor miracle.  I would never have accomplished this if it hadn't been for the class I attended this week, which I promise to elaborate on in the next few blogs.

When I first started writing this blog, I thought I would have to censor myself and the topics I wrote about for fear of what others might think.  To this date hardly any of my friends know about it, and I certainly haven't publicized it.  It was more of a place for me to get my thoughts together, with the idea of maybe writing a book someday.  I guess the fact that I'm now writing about angel cards and faery gardens shows that there is not a lot of censorship going on anymore.  That still causes a slight quickening of the breath and tightness in my chest when I think about it,  yet my fingers keep flying over the keyboard typing the words.  I know I've talked about this quote several times before, but I'm going to end with it to reassure myself again.  I've come a long way, but I'm still working on my self confidence.  This will be my mantra for the next few days.

"Those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind."  Dr. Suess