Vanity vs Integrity

Two weeks into my fifth decade, and things have been great so far.  Only 2 minor annoyances, which I won't even complain about, I'll just comment on.

The first is my eyesight.  I have been blessed with amazing eyesight.  In the past, if I could see a sign I could read it, no matter how small the print was.  Over the last few months this has begun to change - rapidly.  I found myself sitting at the bar with my husband yesterday, squinting to read the beer tap.  Why do we squint anyway, it doesn't miraculously make the letters bigger.  The herb bilberry is good for eyesight, and it does seem to be helping.  Even so, I'm afraid I am on my way to glasses, a sure sign that I'm getting older.  I must admit this makes me a little sad, watching my body slowly start to adjust to it's age.

The other issue I'm having, which is much more detrimental to my aging ego, is the appearance of adult acne.  Again, I was blessed as an adolescent not to have to deal with acne, so this is a first for me.  At least at 17, many peers have acne too, and everyone can sympathize with each other.  Sitting at the dermatologist today, at the age of 40, I felt a little bit strange discussing types of acne.  It was like I missed that day in class or something. Anyway, this whole situation brings me to my next dilemma.

Over the last year I have really been trying to approach my health by using natural products, and have only used mainstream medicine as a last resort.  I have always believed that when our body shows us symptoms, we need to address the underlying issue, instead of just covering up the problem by taking drugs.  I know my acne is showing up because of stress and hormone fluctuation.  When the Dr. offered a Retin A prescription today, my first instinct was to turn it down, which I did.  I know why I'm getting the acne, and I should be addressing the cause of the problem.

But vanity is a funny thing.  It makes me color my ever-increasing gray hair every four weeks, even when I know that's not really good for me.  And when the Dr. said, "Retin A is good for wrinkles too", my ears perked up a little bit.  So much so, that I walked out of the office with a prescription.  Whether I choose to fill it or not is still up for discussion.  Listening to the side effects and precautions was enough to make me reconsider, and I plan to do some more research before I make up my mind.

Will my vanity inflated ego win, or my desire to honor by body in a natural way?  Will I sell my soul to the Retin A devil?  Stay tuned and I'll let you know.