Wearing my Big Girl Panties

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged.  So long in fact, that I had to reset my password to be able to post.  Much has happened over the last year, and I promise to fill you in on all of it.  But today is a special day, so now I want to write about that.

Tomorrow is a turning point for me.  It is the end of the "All About Me Years," and the start of a brand new chapter in the book of my life.  As the first 4 decades  come to a close, I am ready to start the "What Can I Give Back Years."  I am embracing turning 40, and I know it's going to be a fantastic year.  There are so many new opportunities and adventures awaiting me, I can hardly wait to get started.

I have spent the last 10 years dreading birthdays, but this one feels different.  Almost like a rebirth.  Shedding the skin that no longer fits me, I am coming into my own.  It's taken me 40 years to be able to speak my truths, and not hide the real me just to conform to someone else's opinion of me.  I can't say I no longer care about what people think of me, because that's still one of my biggest challenges.  But each and every day I am less afraid to show people the real me, even if they think I should be something different.  I am tired of hiding who I am, and the older I get the less I feel the need to conform.

I have a feeling this blog is going to metamorphous right along with me.  It will be interesting to see if my writing style is different, after taking a little bit of a break.  As of right now, I feel like I'm willing to be a little braver than I was before.  Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, but let's try it out before I lose my nerve.

When I first started writing the blog, hiding my identity was very important.  I wanted to help people thru my experiences, I just didn't want anyone to know I was writing about (or experiencing) these things for myself, in case they didn't agree with me.  I also didn't know if there would be repercussions with my job.  Pilots don't normally talk about things we don't understand, unless it's commonly accepted (religion vs. spirituality for example).  I didn't know exactly what I would be writing about, and I didn't want to feel inhibited if I wanted to write about something a little outside the normal belief system of some people.  I think I'm ready to confront this challenge again and come out of the closet.  My name is Kim and I live in Pittsburgh.  Wow, my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty.  And I haven't even told you my last name yet.  I guess we'll leave that for another post, when I'm feeling really brave.  Baby steps to start my rebirth. And you can still call me Tree Talker, if you want to.