Failure

My entire life I have been afraid of failing.  I have always been an overachiever, going above and beyond what was required of me so that I didn't have to deal with failure.  When I decided I wanted to become a pilot, failure was never an option.  I did whatever I had to do to succeed.  I never had a Plan B, because the thought of not accomplishing Plan A never even crossed my mind.

Does that mean everything worked out perfectly for me and exactly the way I planned it?  Of course not.  What it means is that when something happened that was outside my control (or within my control such as a bad choice or decision), I used it as an opportunity for growth.  Instead of letting it derail my Success Express, I learned from it and moved on.

By expecting nothing but success, I was unconsciously using the Law Of Attraction.  I was creating a positive outcome for myself, because I was only thinking about the positive goal I wanted to create.  I did not spend time focusing on what I didn't want to have happen.  Sometimes by focusing on what we don't want, we inadvertently draw those exact things towards us.

My positive thoughts about becoming a pilot have served me well.  I have a great job, some would say one of the best jobs in the airline industry.  And yet I find myself unfulfilled.  I am feeling called to start something new.  To help people through my writing.  And the thought of that is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.  Over the past few years, my fear of failing has somehow overtaken my ability to envision only success.  Whether it be age, wisdom, or fear, I find myself in the position of being afraid of the unknown.  I had to write the previous paragraphs to remind myself that what I accomplished once can easily be accomplished again with the right attitude.

I mentioned to a friend of mine that my fear of failing as a writer was starting to hold me back.  She then asked what I considered failure.   I said that I felt like a failure if I didn't accomplish my goals, or if I didn't finish what I had set out to do.  She told me to replace the word fail with learn or evolve.  Instead of thinking I've failed, realize that I have learned something from the experience.  If I did not achieve the goal, maybe it wasn't the right goal in the first place.  By having the courage to show up and make the effort, I have evolved and changed the experience into what it was meant to be for me to grow.  In her mind, the only way to fail is to not try.

One of my current goals is to release judgement of myself and others.  My own opinions make a situation good or bad - without them the situation just is.  The labels that I give something, either good or bad, are what affect my feelings towards the situation.  If I remove my judgements regarding failing, and realize that it is neither good nor bad, there is no reason to fear it anymore.

If I start something new and it doesn't go according to plan, then I take the lesson and the evolution and I move on.  If I go back to my teenage attitude of invincibility, then I will accomplish whatever it is I set out to do anyway.  Focus on what I want, instead of what I want to avoid.  And if there is no Plan B, then Plan A has to work.  And Plan A is looking better and better all the time.