UH OH. It appears I missed my anniversary. The one year anniversary of writing my blog. How does that make me feel? Even shittier than I feel about not writing. I haven't had the urge to write at all lately, so I haven't. For some reason that makes me feel guilty. I don't get paid to do this. No one is salivating over my next blog post. I don't have a million readers. So why do I care?
Could it be because I am continually starting things with grand ambitions and then not finishing them? First there was the reiki, which I thought I would do every day for the rest of my life. Not so much anymore. Then there was the spiritual group I was going to start that made it through the first meeting. Now I'm afraid my ambitions to become a writer may be falling by the wayside as well.
Part of my problem is that I am continually searching to find something I am passionate about. Other than flying, there is nothing that I have started and actually stuck with for a number of years. Yes I still waterski and ice skate, which I used to do as a child, but not nearly as much as I would like to. Why? No time - supposedly. Truth is I'm just not making the time. So what exactly am I doing with my time? Running the machine. How do I spend less time doing that? And why is it so hard to find something I'm passionate about?
Well, this post certainly does not have the congratulatory fanfare I planned to have after my year of writing. What did I say at the beginning, 365 posts in one year? Hmm, didn't even make it to half of that. I'm going to sign off now before I depress myself, (or you, my dear loyal readers), anymore. When will I be back? Not sure. Hopefully this is just a temporary hiatus til I get my mojo back. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement along the way. I do feel like I have a message to share, I just have to regain my positive attitude and some direction for it to benefit anyone, including myself.
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Deep breath... now ease up on yourself girl. There's nothing wrong with trying new things. How do you know if you like something if you don't try? Let us perhaps remove the judgement surrounding the "trying and not finishing" and just let go...... breathe.... No matter what you do, it is golden, and it is perfect. I think when we walk the path of personal growth we search SO HARD for that magic bullet that is going to lift us into the highest of higher consciousnesses. When in reality, it's simply doing what you love every day. If reiki or writing or whatever isn't as important to you today, then do something different. Each thing, much like people in our lives, come in and out for a reason. If you think you go too fast from one thing to the next, either love yourself for that, or make a commitment to do things in a way that you believe serves you better. Much love to you and I am proud of you no matter what because you show up every day and are wonderful. <3
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